I love that first line in particular, it says so much without any "telling".I don't think you need to say "sharp" in the last line.Alan
Ah! Very true!thorns are generally sharp.Thanks Alan
cobwebs and thorns shimmering - I love itjohn
Me too!
Hi Rachel,I've noticed, indirectly due to John's genius, that you don't need the dash in the middle:hedgerow cobwebsshimmering with dewbramble thornsWorks as a pivot line, and also emphasise, without telling, that bramble thorns are indeed, ouch!, sharp. ;-)Alan
Gorgeous.
Oh! Clever amendment! Thank you John, and Alan again.
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7 comments:
I love that first line in particular, it says so much without any "telling".
I don't think you need to say "sharp" in the last line.
Alan
Ah! Very true!
thorns are generally sharp.
Thanks Alan
cobwebs and thorns shimmering - I love it
john
Me too!
Hi Rachel,
I've noticed, indirectly due to John's genius, that you don't need the dash in the middle:
hedgerow cobwebs
shimmering with dew
bramble thorns
Works as a pivot line, and also emphasise, without telling, that bramble thorns are indeed, ouch!, sharp. ;-)
Alan
Gorgeous.
Oh! Clever amendment! Thank you John, and Alan again.
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