hedgerow cobwebs
shimmering with dew
bramble thorns
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New Indian English Poetry : An Alternative Voice : R.K. Singh/edited by I.K. Sharma Edited by I.K. Sharma Vedams Books 8181520858
One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
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Followers
7 comments:
I love that first line in particular, it says so much without any "telling".
I don't think you need to say "sharp" in the last line.
Alan
Ah! Very true!
thorns are generally sharp.
Thanks Alan
cobwebs and thorns shimmering - I love it
john
Me too!
Hi Rachel,
I've noticed, indirectly due to John's genius, that you don't need the dash in the middle:
hedgerow cobwebs
shimmering with dew
bramble thorns
Works as a pivot line, and also emphasise, without telling, that bramble thorns are indeed, ouch!, sharp. ;-)
Alan
Gorgeous.
Oh! Clever amendment! Thank you John, and Alan again.
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