One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

a scourge of starlings
the cat's tail flicks
under the bench




edited - thank you Alan

9 comments:

Alan Summers said...

.
I love "a scourge of starlings"! ;-)

a scourge of starlings
descends (upon the garden)
cat takes shelter


I do feel you at least need a definite article.

a scourge of starlings
descends upon the garden
the cat takes shelter


or let us know why or where the cat takes shelter in the garden, or somewhere else?

a scourge of starlings
the cat takes shelter
(behind the teasels)


a scourge of starlings
from the garden the sound
of the catflap


Besides I might need lessons in how to hide in a garden. ;-)

Alan

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you Alan.

I had considered the cat flap but you succeeded where I didn't!

John McDonald said...

love it rachel
john

Alan Summers said...

I really like this revised version very much! ;-)

Alan

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you John.

Thanks for the help, Alan!

Kelly Marszycki said...

scourge is such a wonderful word -- I feel sorry for that cat!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thanks Kelly.

The cat's fine - asking for food at present

diana l. said...

Isn't always time to eat in the life of a cat?

I like the haiku a lot. (And, great use of feedback!)

Leatherdykeuk said...

it is indeed! Thanks Diana