One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

picking blackberries
my wind-tangled hair
amongst the brambles

6 comments:

John McDonald said...

great picture rachel
john

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you John :)

Paul Smith said...

I really like this Rachel.
I wonder if L2 read 'my wind tangled hair' whether it would tighten it just a bit and add a touch of Akiko. Either way a lovely poem.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Paul, thank you. That does tighten it beautifully.

Alan Summers said...

picking blackberries
my wind-tangled my hair
amongst the brambles


I think you need to remove that second 'my' in line two.

picking blackberries
my wind-tangled hair
amongst the brambles


or

picking blackberries
they wind-tangle my hair
amongst the brambles


Alan

Leatherdykeuk said...

Oh! I concur!
The second 'my' was a typo left behind after an edit.