picking blackberries
my wind-tangled hair
amongst the brambles
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New Indian English Poetry : An Alternative Voice : R.K. Singh/edited by I.K. Sharma Edited by I.K. Sharma Vedams Books 8181520858
One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
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Followers
6 comments:
great picture rachel
john
Thank you John :)
I really like this Rachel.
I wonder if L2 read 'my wind tangled hair' whether it would tighten it just a bit and add a touch of Akiko. Either way a lovely poem.
Paul, thank you. That does tighten it beautifully.
picking blackberries
my wind-tangled my hair
amongst the brambles
I think you need to remove that second 'my' in line two.
picking blackberries
my wind-tangled hair
amongst the brambles
or
picking blackberries
they wind-tangle my hair
amongst the brambles
Alan
Oh! I concur!
The second 'my' was a typo left behind after an edit.
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