One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

roadside pumpkins
in the grey morning light
a ferris wheel creaks



edited 12:54

5 comments:

Alan Summers said...

Love roadside pumpkins!

Add ferris wheels and it is really a good creepy halloween type haiku. ;-)

ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins


I wondered if you could switch the lines around?

roadside pumpkins
in the grey morning light
a ferris wheel creaks


or

a ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins


.

Leatherdykeuk said...

ooh, lovely edit, Alan - thanks!

Alan Summers said...

What I also like about this haiku is that 'grey' works so well here because the pumpkins will be orange, and the ferris wheel conjures up bright colours of the fairground.

Alan
Renga verse email: 1000verses@withwords.org.uk

BBC weblink: BBC 1000 verse renga article

Alan's blog weblink: 1000 Verse Renga blog
.

diana l. said...

Wonderful!

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you :)