Love roadside pumpkins!Add ferris wheels and it is really a good creepy halloween type haiku. ;-)ferris wheel creaksin the grey morning lightroadside pumpkins I wondered if you could switch the lines around?roadside pumpkinsin the grey morning lighta ferris wheel creaksora ferris wheel creaksin the grey morning lightroadside pumpkins .
ooh, lovely edit, Alan - thanks!
What I also like about this haiku is that 'grey' works so well here because the pumpkins will be orange, and the ferris wheel conjures up bright colours of the fairground.AlanRenga verse email: 1000verses@withwords.org.ukBBC weblink: BBC 1000 verse renga article Alan's blog weblink: 1000 Verse Renga blog.
Wonderful!
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4 comments:
Love roadside pumpkins!
Add ferris wheels and it is really a good creepy halloween type haiku. ;-)
ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins
I wondered if you could switch the lines around?
roadside pumpkins
in the grey morning light
a ferris wheel creaks
or
a ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins
.
ooh, lovely edit, Alan - thanks!
What I also like about this haiku is that 'grey' works so well here because the pumpkins will be orange, and the ferris wheel conjures up bright colours of the fairground.
Alan
Renga verse email: 1000verses@withwords.org.uk
BBC weblink: BBC 1000 verse renga article
Alan's blog weblink: 1000 Verse Renga blog
.
Wonderful!
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