roadside pumpkins
in the grey morning light
a ferris wheel creaks
edited 12:54
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New Indian English Poetry : An Alternative Voice : R.K. Singh/edited by I.K. Sharma Edited by I.K. Sharma Vedams Books 8181520858
One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way
---Shiki
____________________________
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4 comments:
Love roadside pumpkins!
Add ferris wheels and it is really a good creepy halloween type haiku. ;-)
ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins
I wondered if you could switch the lines around?
roadside pumpkins
in the grey morning light
a ferris wheel creaks
or
a ferris wheel creaks
in the grey morning light
roadside pumpkins
.
ooh, lovely edit, Alan - thanks!
What I also like about this haiku is that 'grey' works so well here because the pumpkins will be orange, and the ferris wheel conjures up bright colours of the fairground.
Alan
Renga verse email: 1000verses@withwords.org.uk
BBC weblink: BBC 1000 verse renga article
Alan's blog weblink: 1000 Verse Renga blog
.
Wonderful!
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