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One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

sparrow song
the rustle of falling leaves
in Boythorpe wood

4 comments:

Area 17 said...

.
Killer first line! ;-)

sparrow song
the rustle of falling leaves
Boythorpe wood


I'd make the last two lines into a phrasal part e.g.

sparrow song
the rustle of falling leaves
in Boythorpe wood


Alan
Alan's Haiku Blog of Events
.

Rachel Green said...

Thank you, Alan -
I'd debathed the 'in' for a while ;)

Area 17 said...

Aha!

I think it's okay to have it back in, otherwise it looks like three separate statements.

You are certainly on a roll lately! ;-)

Alan

Rachel Green said...

Thank you :)