One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

lashing rain
in the morning darkness
the hiss of tyres


edited 4:30 pm. Thanks Alan

2 comments:

Alan Summers said...

the hiss of tyres
in morning darknes
rain lashes down


Some alternatives (and losing the typo):

lashing rain
the hiss of car tyres
in morning darkness


morning darkness
the hiss of car tyres
in the rain


morning darkness
the hiss of HGV tyres
in the rain


This reminds me of a poem I wrote about the sound of tyres at night while it was raining.

It can be an amazing and comforting sound, as long, of course, as no car or lorry crashes into your building. ;-)

Alan
1000 Verse Renga Project
.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Thank you Alan. Your help appreciated as always. I liked your second version best, I think.