One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

spiders' webs
glisten in the sun
contrails in the sky

6 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I really this!

spiders' webs
glisten in the sun
contrails in the sky


I wonder if contrails could be moved to the first line, and leave out "in the sky"?

contrails
the spiders' webs
glisten in the sun


or zoom into just one of the webs?

contrails
the spider's web
glisten in the sun


or

contrails
the spider's web
in the sun


contrails
the spiders' webs
in the sun


Alan
Area 17
.

Dennis Tomlinson said...

Thanks for your appreciation and suggestions, Alan. Thinking of my experience yesterday morning, I prefer your first version:

contrails
the spiders' webs
glisten in the sun

The local hedges were covered with spiders' webs, lots of 'em! I also had the impression that the spider webs were not hanging there passively but were actively doing something, 'glistening in the sun'. Maybe I imply a slight breeze here as well.

Dennis

Kelly M. said...

I like that you've joined the ephemeral nature of the two sets of markings -- very neat!

Alan Summers said...

There's a definite link with old and new i.e. spiders and planes, ground and sky, and subtle other layers.

Good one! ;-)

Alan

Dennis Tomlinson said...

You've seen a lot in this, Kelly and Alan. I was also thinking of an ecological note - the delicacy of the spiders and their webs versus the big impact of jet aircraft...

Alan Summers said...

Yes, it's all there, it's a very open haiku, there are so many layers and I am sure someone will surprise us with a new interpretion.

Alan