Crows competewith the sound of chainsawsthe scent of cedars Maybe swap lines around, even shorten them? e.g.scent of cedar crows compete with chainsawsAlan1000 Verse Renga
Thank you Alan
Interesting combination of soft sounds -- "scent", "cedarwood", "sound" -- ending with that hard C with crows -- a satisfying visual and aural symmetry to this!
Thank you Kelly.I'm ashamed to say I hadn't noticed!
Love this one and I agree with Kelly. The sounds blend ever so softly.love-Melanie-bhd
I love the edited version, well done Rachel!!!! ;-)Another stunning haiku.Alan1000 Verse Renga.
Thank you both :)
this is really good. Love it!!
Thank you, David
Post a Comment
Archive-Listen-Open Air- Philadelphia
MY SILENCE | Pen Poetry
TEN HAIKU | Pen Poetry
TEN POEMS | Pen Poetry
Subscribe in a reader