Hi Kelly,I've enjoyed coming back to this haiku several times. ;-)rusty smell embeddedin my fingers --dead-heading marigoldsI love that last line! Also we tend to think of roses when dead-heading is mentioned, but it's as logical to dead-head marigolds, albeit for different reasons.Could it become the first and main line? e.g.dead-heading marigoldsthe rusty smell embeddedin my fingersAlanWith Words.
I think it could! I did try it both ways and finally stayed with the last line -- Thank you, Alan! Always learn something new when you stop by -- congrats on your recent events -- saw the Area 17 releases!
I know what you mean!I've been reading your haiku many times, but also leaving quite a gap before I read it again.That third line as a "first line" is so good for setting up the haiku, that it needn't be used for a kind of 'last line' punchline.Just thinking out aloud, as the poem has definitely embedded itself in me. ;-)Thanks for enjoying the Area 17 events, we had so much fun on all of them! ;-)Alanarea 17.
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