One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way

---Shiki
____________________________

lost my inspiration
in a pile of leaves
should I dig
or must I wait
for spring to uncover it

5 comments:

Spiros Zafiris said...

..this one is much more
lovely today, than when i
read it yesterday..i'm
almost afraid to approach
it tomorrow..>>spiros

Spiros Zafiris said...

..sorry, me again (it
was I who deleted last
comment, cause it wasn't
just right..anyways,
in Line 5, you don't need
an article; more correct
without:
or wait
for spring to uncover it
---------
myself, i prefer:

or must I wait
for spring to uncover it

..>>spiros
-------------

Vida said...

Hi Spiros,

Do not read it tomorrow, you may not like it at all :))

I am applying the changes that you proposed! There was something missing in the 4th line. I was thinking of repeating ‘should’ but ‘must’ is better. Thank you!
And, I really appreciate your help with the correctness - my English is far from perfect :)

Spiros Zafiris said...

..Vida..>it reads quite
marvelously now; 'tis a
wonderful poem..it's only
right to remove an article
from where one doesn't
belong..you're welcomed

Beatrice V said...

The result is lovely!