One edge
hanging over the mountain--
the Milky Way


wrap her in dark skin
cover her nakedness
summer's last gift


diana l. said...

Wow! Less is certainly more. I think this is an amazing improvement. Much more powerful.

My mind keeps switching the last two lines. What do you think? (and do you mean "summer's"?)

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Yes you are right. I will rewrite it yet once again.

love-Melanie Bishop