I really this!spiders' websglisten in the suncontrails in the skyI wonder if contrails could be moved to the first line, and leave out "in the sky"?contrailsthe spiders' websglisten in the sunor zoom into just one of the webs?contrailsthe spider's webglisten in the sunor contrailsthe spider's webin the suncontrailsthe spiders' websin the sunAlanArea 17.
Thanks for your appreciation and suggestions, Alan. Thinking of my experience yesterday morning, I prefer your first version:contrailsthe spiders' websglisten in the sunThe local hedges were covered with spiders' webs, lots of 'em! I also had the impression that the spider webs were not hanging there passively but were actively doing something, 'glistening in the sun'. Maybe I imply a slight breeze here as well.Dennis
I like that you've joined the ephemeral nature of the two sets of markings -- very neat!
There's a definite link with old and new i.e. spiders and planes, ground and sky, and subtle other layers. Good one! ;-)Alan
You've seen a lot in this, Kelly and Alan. I was also thinking of an ecological note - the delicacy of the spiders and their webs versus the big impact of jet aircraft...
Yes, it's all there, it's a very open haiku, there are so many layers and I am sure someone will surprise us with a new interpretion. Alan
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